The art of faking it ’til you believe it
I used to be scared of dressing up.
In fact, I didn’t know what being pretty is like.
How would I know what beauty is if I never felt beautiful?
You might be thinking, “That’s a load of crap, Vikki. If you don’t love putting yourself out there, why did you create Vikkipedia?”
The truth is, I wasn’t always comfortable with the way I look.
I’ve always been a self-conscious kid when I was growing up. You know how some kids are just naturally expressive and exudes confidence whenever they speak? I was a bookworm with thick glasses that literally got anxiety every time I had to do a class presentation. My so-called ‘confidence’ was definitely put on.
In a very stereotypically Asian manner, I was great at ‘studying’. When others were busy cramming for their exams, I was signing up to every single sports team and joining every club under the sun.
I was ‘studying’ how to be confident.
Then came my adolescence when I went to an all-girls intermediate. I noticed most girls had short hair because girls with long hair that wore makeup were labelled ‘slutty’.
I wanted to fit in.
So, I chopped my hair off. I didn’t want to be seen as ‘the girl that wants boys’ attention’.
Fast-forwarding to high school, I watched a lot of American TV shows while fantasising about being the girlfriend of one of the Backstreet Boys. (Didn’t we all do that at one stage? 😂)
The girl I used to hang out with (and idolised) wore mini-skirts and makeup.
I remember going to the school social without my glasses (even though I have heavy astigmatism) purely because I didn’t want to look geeky.
I remember stumbling through the crowd to see her dancing and making out with the guy I had a massive crush on for years.
I remember standing on the side quietly and watched on. My blurry vision didn’t ease my heartbreak.
And that’s how I started wearing tight-fitted clothing.
And that’s when I started hearing people whispering under their breath, “Eww… Look at that girl with her boobs out. She’s asking for it… Her skirt is too short.”
Too often I was too scared of what other people think of me.
When would they, or myself allow ME to be comfortable in my own skin?
Since I started Vikkipedia, I’ve been very blessed because I haven’t got a significant amount of hate (so far). But there are times when I stumble across others’ comment sections (i.e. the petri dish for trolls) and I get disheartened by the amount of negativity on someone’s appearance.
“Ew… She looks so tacky with all that makeup!”
“Her boobs are so fake.”
“Did you run out of money to buy clothes? ‘Cos you’re hardly wearing anything.”
I absolutely understand that the best way to be, is to be completely at peace with the way you look naturally.
But why do we feel the need to tear each other down by imposing our own standard of beauty upon others?
To me, fashion and makeup are an expression, an extension of my being.
Because Vikkipedia has not only been a creative outlet, but more importantly, a healing process for me.
The process of getting ready for each photo shoot, from doing my makeup to putting on a pretty outfit feels like a ritual.
As I look in the mirror, I can hear Vikkipedia whispering in Vikki’s ears, “Hey girl, you can do it!”
In a world of full of judgement, a pretty outfit is my armour.
I know my alter ego is no Sasha Fierce ‘cos Vikki Cheng is not Beyoncé. 😂 But here’s Vikkipedia’s little pep talk for those of you that need a little pick-me-up.
1. To the jury of beauty: mind your own business.
“You're still in the running towards becoming America's next top model.”
“The tribe has spoken.”
I don’t know if reality TV is to blame for this, but we live in a world where we’re constantly standing in front of a jury saying, “Yes this is ok.” “No that’s not.”
There’s way too much energy wasted on worrying about what other people think and ironically, too much energy goes into criticising other people’s appearance.
Too much makeup. Not enough makeup.
Too dressed up. Too underdressed.
Who the fuck are we to dictate how the others should act or dress?
Whether you’re wearing a t-shirt and trackies with a bare face, or a jumpsuit and high heels with a full face of contour and highlights, we should all flourish and look beautiful collectively in our own unique ways.
If you ain’t hurting nobody, don’t listen to the haters and glue those extra AF falsies on!
2. Fake it ’til you believe it.
I truly believe what I wear gives me confidence.
Some people take pride in how they don’t need much dressing up or makeup ‘cos they just look great naturally.
Well, good on you, mate!
But for those of us that didn’t grow up feeling 100%, is it a crime to chuck on that bit of foundation to hide our acne scars or that waist-trainer to suck in our tummies?
Some people like working out ‘cos it makes them look good and feel good. Some people like driving a fancy car.
To me, fashion is just another way of people wanting to put their best foot forward.
Don’t let people chop you down for wanting a little bit of help to make you feel more confident.
Even if you haven’t got it, fake it and flaunt it!
3. Under your armour, you are still the soldier you are.
When I had my short hair and glasses, I was classified as meek, geeky, boring…
When I started wearing makeup and dressing up, all of a sudden I was seen as unintelligent, shallow, promiscuous…
But wait, I’m STILL me.
When you dress up for yourself, not anyone else, your clothes are just an extra layer of armour – it doesn’t change who you are underneath.
Mulan’s still Mulan dressed as a man.
Joan of Arc is still Joan of Arc dressed in her armour.
Vikkipedia is still Vikkipedia dressed in her favourite LBD!
So to all the ladies (and gents) out there, if you wanna look as loud as RuPaul, go for it! Don’t let anyone stop you!
Let your pretty little dress be your bulletproof vest.
Who needs a knight?
Just let thou clothing be your shining armour!
Vikki | Fashion, Fun & Fail 😂
🌞 Advertising Creative 🌝 Aspiring #YouTuber📍 Auckland NZ 💌 firstname.lastname@example.org